LGBT Criticism Agua de Mayo by Maryanne Moll

LGBT Criticism: “Agua de Mayo” by Maryanne Moll

Roland Raymond A. Roldan   LIT230   Prado Ateneo de Naga University

                                                    

In Maryanne Moll’s “Agua de Mayo,” one can say that lesbianism is seen the expressions of love between two girls: the protagonist, Clara, who is also the narrator and Anita, her cousin from Manila. According to the Adrienne Rich, there are many ways to identify a lesbian and one of which is women-dentification; and this is the case in the story. It begins with the present Clara’s definition of true love. She compares it to a ghost, elusive and fleeting yet unforgettable. In this introduction, she is referring to Anita who is her true love. She then proceeds to tell the story about her true love. As such, the narrator, present-day Clara indirectly identifies herself as lesbian.

Besides this self-identification, Rich says that women may define themselves as being in the lesbian continuum which consists of experiences that woman go through in loving another woman. She concludes that to be identified as lesbian does not require sexual desire nor intimacy with other women, but it does not preclude them either. In the story, one can see this lesbian continuum in the shared experiences of Clara and Anita as they express their lesbian feelings during moments such as: 1) Kissing a number of times and physical/sexual intimacy - “Under the covers, she moved to cover my body with hers…she began to kiss my neck…her hand slowly slipping up the hem of my nightgown to my waist,” 2) when Clara declares to Anita, “Take me away…To Manila!” and 3) when Anita says to Clara “I love you and I’ll always be here. I love you. Remember that,” and then risks her life to save Clara who nearly drowns in the creek.

Given these instances of lesbian expression, one can say that the story successfully portrays homosexual relationships to be as real as any heterosexual relationship. However, that Clara and Anita did not speak of it, nor show their feelings in public, because the society in which they live in does not acknowledge its existence nor accept it, shows their blind acceptance of heterosexist values. This can also be seen when they do not fight for their relationship when it was threatened by Clara’s pending marriage to Carlos. Additionally, the fateful death of Anita leaves the reader questioning whether or not they would have continued their relationship if Anita had lived. Furthermore, the consummated marriage of Clara to Carlos questions her identity yet again, if she is, indeed, lesbian. Moreover, in the story, there was no mention of other lesbian relationships she could have had after Anita.

The lesbian love between Clara and Anita is likened to a ghost. Aside from its characteristics found in the beginning of the story, lesbian love and ghosts are implied as being real even when left unacknowledged or even unrecognized. Appearances of Greta, possibly a ghost whose identity cannot be ascertained, speaking “true love” a number of times can be seen as a representation of the momentary arousals of desire between Clara and Anita as their feelings for one another surface and become explicit. The lingering jasmine scent of the ghost after it disappears is also comparable to the lingering quality of the love between the two even after Anita’s death. In one scene, Clara sees the reflection of the ghost’s face which looks like her; and the blurring of her vision made the two faces come together. This could represent the identity crisis she is going through as she explores her sexuality by sharing intimate moments with someone like her – a girl. Clara’s own heterosexist reactions to her feelings and desires is shown in an instance when she had a nightmare right after a night of sexual intimacy with Anita. The ghost is seen crawling in her bedroom with its face covered and Clara being fearful of looking at it. This dream could mean that Clara, though acknowledging her lesbian feelings and expressing it outwardly to Anita, cannot face its immorality as adjudged by the social norm. Her fear resulting to physical rigidity during the nightmare, shows her deep-seated feelings of denial, guilt helplessness and inability to cope with her situation.

            Water in the story may have been used as a metaphor for the varied intensities of Clara and Anita’s desire for each another. The creek with flowing water may represent the lesbian continuum and Clara’s desire to wade in its waters as well as Anita’s statement “If I were to die, I’d rather die in the water” may be viewed as their mutual consent to continue exploring their relationship. This metaphor of water is also seen in the rain showers “agua de mayo” which could mean to be the moments of love they shared. The rain itself marks the beginning and end of this lesbian love affair - “It rained the night she came; It was also raining the night she left.”

In conclusion, the story shows how a young adolescent reacts to her homosexual awakening amidst heterosexist values and ultimately accepts her fate, imprisoned in a heterosexual marriage. Like agua de mayo, her memory of her lesbian lover comes and goes, and like a ghost, her homosexuality unrealized will continue to haunt her for the rest of her life.